Seattle Yogini

Living Alongside the Pain

Me in August, about one week after

I've been debating whether to write about this. Debating whether it's too personal, or too "much", or just plain TOO. It is a lot, what I am about to write. It might be a lot to read. I hope, however, that it can give some insight into the processes of grieving and healing...into what it's like to live through something to which few people can relate.

Six months ago today I almost died. Within the span of a few short hours I went into shock (due to internal hemorrhaging), found out that I was pregnant, that my baby was dead, and that I would die too if I didn't have surgery immediately. I signed consent forms and kissed my husband goodbye, because we really didn't know if I would come through surgery.

That's a lot.

Sometimes it feels like little bits and pieces, rather than one giant, traumatic event. The little pieces are easier to swallow, and to share: "I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy." It sounds so clinical, so unemotional. Or this: "I had a salpingectomy." With that statement I can reduce the experience to the removal of a body part. It doesn't even seem as if another life was involved, or that mine was at risk.

Today, however, all of the pieces came together and the full reality of the experience knocked me over.

The grieving process is unique to each person, but the common thread is that it takes as long as it takes. And then, the process may be done, but like a scar the grief remains part of you...a part that rises up again sometimes - perhaps to remind you of your own strength. I'd like to think so.

Because that's the thing about grief - it doesn't go away, exactly, it changes quality over time. At first mine was raw and huge like a force of nature. My body ached with grief. Feeling as if I would burst, I wanted to roar. Sometimes I did roar. I came to understand the stories of women tearing their hair, their flesh. The grief was consuming.

Now it's like an irregular geyser, it springs up from my depths with no warning, refusing to be contained for another minute. It is still consuming, but only when it rises. I have learned to give it my full attention, even though every fiber in my being just wants it to go away, be over, be quiet, stop harassing me.

Some people like to say that life events such as these are "blessings in disguise". If that's the case, then all I can say is that the Universal Costumer should be fired.

Pain like this may, in fact, redirect our lives. Faced with such shock, one is likely to reevaluate a great deal. That still doesn't make it a "good" thing to have experienced. Calling it a blessing "in disguise" belittles the fullness of the experience and the complexity of human emotions. There is no kernel of good that was wrapped up in my fallopian tube bursting open because my baby didn't implant in the right place.

HOWEVER, like a wounded bird who flies once more, I know that good decisions have been made since going through this experience. And of course there's still good. I am alive, for one thing. My husband is not a widower. I am thankful to be alive.

There are many wonderful things happening in my life right now, but they are not because of my ordeal this summer, they are in addition to it. They do not erase the pain, they live alongside it.

Why I Am Doing A Positivity Project

Well, for one thing, it's an assignment for my Counseling class this quarter. But after reading the article upon which the assignment is based, it sounds like just the kind of kick-starter I want to get this year off to a good start. Incidentally, if you have access to a paper copy of The Sun and can read the whole article, please take the time to dig it up, sit down, and read it in its entirety. It is worth every minute.

The article is an interview with Barbra Fredrickson, a psychologist who does research on positive thought. Some tidbits from the article that I found particularly supportive:

“There’s a famous paper in psychology called ‘Happy but Mindless?’ which suggests that people who are happy are somehow bubble-headed softies, not critical of the world and therefore not intellectuals. I think that’s a distorted stereotype that highly critical people cultivate to justify their own negativity.”

“Being positive or negative isn’t about being smart or dumb; it’s about thinking broadly or narrowly. Whether thinking broadly is useful or not depends on the situation you’re in. It’s just a different style of thinking. In some circumstances it can help you be more creative.”

“...we’ve found that negativity is required for flourishing...Denying the negative and painting on the positive is unhealthy, and anybody who makes it their goal never to express a negative emotion quickly drives everyone away from them, because we know their positivity isn’t real.”

                                                                                        ~ Barbara Fredrickson

That last bit may raise some eyebrows among my yoga friends and colleagues, but it really resonates with me. It gets to the heart of the issue, which is authenticity. Everyone experiences hard times and of course we can endeavor to look at the bright side. That said, to deny the existence of pained feelings, to brush them away with a positive-thought-broom before we even get a chance to truly feel them, is to deny a part of the human existence...an existence for which we have all, apparently, signed up. (For more on the importance of honoring sadness, look for Thomas Moore's book, Dark Nights of the Soul).

I choose to take a generally positive outlook on life. That does not mean that I don't allow myself to feel pain. Frankly, anyone who's been reading this blog for awhile has read about some of my pain. I agree with Fredrickson, however, that striving for a ratio of 3 (or more) positive feelings to each single "negative" feeling is enough to get out of the negative feedback loop in which so many people are stuck. If there is a "magic number" for shifting to a life of contentment, it seems to be 3:1.

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Okay, so my positivity project. There were so many ideas offered in class, all intriguing. Things like keeping a daily gratitude journal (feeling gratitude helps us to feel positive - and humble - after all), spending 30 minutes outside each day (this week I'm really glad that I didn't choose that one!), spending time each day in quiet contemplation (a.k.a. prayer, meditation, or reflection), and writing weekly thank you notes to people in your life. I liked all of these, but I also wanted to tie this project in with my Improvement Goal (also for this class, and I'll write about it next week).

I choose to dance for half an hour every day.

I feel most me when I am moving, and when I am dancing in particular. I feel joyful, powerful, loved and loving. I feel strong, fluid and graceful. I feel poised, disciplined, and beautiful. These feelings especially apply to my bellydancing, but really as long as I get a chance to shake it every day I know that my overall sense of having had a "good day" will increase.

As a member of Nomatitude I know that I'll dance for about 90 minutes on Tuesdays at troupe rehearsal and 60 minutes on Thursdays in class. I am not limiting my project to bellydancing though. On some days, the dancing will come in the form of shakin' it around my living room. On others, it will be a Zumba class. Hell, maybe I'll finally try a Nia class. The point is that every day I will carve out some time - at intervals if I can't do it all at once - to move my body in a way that says:

"welcome home, Arya".

 

GF Sourghum Bread, my first attempt

We had family visiting last week. It was busy and crowded and lovely and I'm glad we had some time together. We cooked a lot, which wasn't unusual but I note it here because we don't usually cook for four.

I wanted to supplement one of our dinners with some bread that I could eat. I haven't eaten bread since July, when I went gluten-free. I don't miss it, but I had just read the recipe in the Gluten Free Girl book and felt inspired.

For one thing, when I ate gluten I made lots of bread, and particularly loved the No-Knead Bread recipe. Loved. It.

I knew that the GF version wouldn't be the same, just as soy milk is not the same as cow milk.

It was good, though, and in the end I had a loaf of what we agreed was more akin to a dense & crusty cornbread than, say, a french loaf. That isn't surprising, since it's the gluten that makes a french loaf what it is.

I was happier with this cornbread-ish result than one might think, because while I haven't missed regular bread, I dearly miss cornbread (my favorite way of eating corn). This loaf was a close enough approximation that I could almost taste my Sopa de Lentejas (Lentil Soup, Spanish style) with my first bite.

Yum. Especially with honey slathered on it.

For the recipe, go visit Shauna.

Basket Yoke Pullover, a Gift for Myself!

I'm not much for "women's" magazines. As much as I like the concept of personal style, I don't much care about fashion. My magazine genre of preference is the knitting magazine. Not only do the patterns and articles give me artistic inspiration, they are often educational and motivating.

When I saw the premiere edition of knit.wear magazine, I earmarked a few different patterns for future reference. That's always my first step: I use those little self-sticking flags (like miniature post-it notes) to mark the patterns that catch my eye. Then I go through and read more about each to see if it's a pattern I actually want to follow. Then I consider the yarn suggestion, and peruse ravelry to see how it looks on various bodies, in various yarns, and with a multitude of modifications.

This is how I decided that I wanted to make the Basket Yoke Pullover, in the suggested yarn and with just two personalized modifications. The first thing I noticed about this sweater is the luscious, slightly fuzzy yarn. It's Berroco Ultra Alpaca, a 100% alpaca worsted-weight yarn. That means it'll knit up relatively quickly (thanks to being worsted weight), be super-cozy but also very light-weight (thanks to the alpaca).

The next thing that I noticed about the sweater was that it was the work of a designer whom I admire, Wendy Bernard. She designs curve-hugging, flattering (for my shape, anyway) sweaters and is generous in her advice about how to personalize a project. Just check out her book, Custom Knits, to learn more. This sweater is knit from the top down, which makes it theoretically easy to try on as you knit. I say "theoretically" because of course the sweater will look and fit very differently once the whole thing is done. That said, at least you are alerted to disasters - such as a too small neck hole, or that you can't get your arms through the arm holes - before the whole body of the sweater is knit.

What I knew I would want to change was the neck line. I like boat neck tops, and they flatter my strong shoulders. I have been burned, however, by the boat neck-turned-flash dance sweater, so I didn't want to take any chances with this one. I decided to modify the neck band so that it would be just a little narrower without sacrificing the overall look or intention of the design.

The alpaca yarn grew a lot in length after I soaked and blocked the finished sweater, but I was very happy with the body's resulting length. The waist shaping even hit me in the right spot! The sleeves, however, ended up about two inches too long and I realized that I didn't care for the bell shape. So, after the sweater was dry and I'd sewn in all of the body ends, I ripped out the last five inches of a sleeve, reknit without the bell shaping and making it shorter, and tried it on again. Success! I did the same change to sleeve 2 and ended up with a sweater that I love.

I ended up only needing 4 of the 5 hanks of yarn that I purchased. Thankfully, Fiber Gallery let me return the unused hank for a store credit. If you'd like to read the knitterly details of this project, as well as more information on my modifications, check out my ravelry page.

A note about choosing your sweater size based on bust measurements:

If, like me, you are overall petite with but with a full bust (in sewing terms, that's a C cup or larger), you may prefer to take a "high bust" measurement rather than a regular bust measurement when trying to decide which sweater size to make. The larger the bust measurement, the larger the whole sweater will be. If you are small with a full bust, you may end up with an oversized sweater. By using your high-bust measurement you are more likely to end up with a well-fitting sweater, though you may have to make some accommodations for the bustline (i.e. more increases, using darts, etc).

I know, for example, that if I make the 36" sweater (since I have a 36" bust measurement) I will end up with a too-big-for-me sweater. My high-bust measurement (that's just above the swell of your bustline, rather than at its largest part) is 34". The Basket Yoke Pullover pattern had a size option for a 34", which means that if my gauge matches the designer's perfectly, the finished sweater will have a bust measurement of 34". That would be 2" of negative ease, which sounds excessive but since I knew the sweater would be fairly stretchy and I wanted it to be curve-hugging, I decided to use my high-bust measurement so that the overall sweater fit would be to my liking. I knew that I could always add some room at the bust if necessary, and even do bust darts if absolutely necessary. With a stretchy fabric, though, I didn't find either of those fixes necessary. The sweater stretches across my bust in a way that I like without looking pulled-too-tight across my bustline.

Our Favorite GF Pizza Crust Recipe

It took us years to perfect our wheaty pizza crust. It was an amalgamation of various recipes and techniques, tweaked over the years to finally become our perfect crust. I could make it in my sleep. It always turned out great.

Then I found out I'm allergic to wheat.

Not about to give up pizza, I set about finding a new favorite pizza crust - one that I could eat without risking an inflammatory response. First I tried some mixes, but they were not satisfying. First of all, it was really hard to find one that didn't include other grains to which I am allergic (i.e. corn). Secondly, there is a tendency to include garbanzo bean flour, and I don't care for the taste (or gumminess) that it contributes. So I turned my sights toward making a crust from scratch, just as I'd done with our previous favorite.

Enter (you guessed it!) Gluten Free Girl & The Chef's pizza crust. It wasn't completely Arya-safe, because they use corn flour and corn starch. Shauna offered suggestions for alternatives, though, and I've been playing with it since.

We had pizza for Christmas dinner. My brother and his wife were here visiting, and we wanted to make something delicious that everyone could hang out in the kitchen and help prepare, and that would satisfy my need to avoid gluten, corn, and excessive dairy (I make an occasional exception for a bit of cheese on my 'za) and their need for it to be vegetarian. They were two of the best pizzas we've had, and my sister-in-law wanted the crust recipe!

Hints & Notes:

• One of the first things to know is that this crust comes together quickly, but there are some things that are best done in order (noted in the recipe).
• Also, while it has yeast and does need to rest, don't expect it to puff up. rise, and become elastic like a wheaty dough would.
• Make sure you have plenty of parchment paper on hand. I have found that I need to roll it out between two sheets, flipping occasionally in order to peel the paper off of the dough. Otherwise, the parchment works itself into the wrinkles in the underside of the dough and can get cooked into the crust. It's a real pain to try to peel off after baking, so I figured out the above method. Yesterday I learned that if, before baking, the parchment feels damp I should just go ahead and flip the crust onto a fresh sheet before baking. The damp parchment stuck to the underside of the crust during baking, essentially steaming onto the crust. Not the end of the world, but certainly annoying.
• You can swap out the flour below for an equal weight of all-purpose gf flour mix, but the results will vary depending on what's in your mix.

Gluten-, Corn-, and Dairy-free Pizza Crust

Ingredients:
125 g Millet Flour
125 g Arrowroot Powder
125 g Sweet Rice Flour
125 g Potato Starch
1 ½ tsp Kosher Salt
1 cup warm water, start with ½ cup
¼ cup Olive Oil
2 packets Yeast
1 Tbsp Ground Flax Seeds, plus 2 tbsp just-boiled water

Directions:

Preheat your oven, with a pizza stone if you have one, to 450 F.

Start by making the flax slurry. While the water is boiling, go ahead and mix the 1/2 cup warm water, 1/4 cup olive oil, and 2 packs of yeast in a measuring cup. Once the water boils, swiftly stir 2 tablespoons into the tablespoon of flax meal. Set aside.

Mix the flours and salt in the mixer. Add the flax goo and let the mixer stir it in. Add the yeasty oil & water, pouring slowly with the mixer on. Add another 1/2 cup or so of water (depends on the humidity of your kitchen, so don't get too hung up on the numbers), stopping when the dough comes together in a ball around the paddle but before it starts to get too sticky/wet.

Leave the dough in the mixing bowl, cover with a towel and set aside for an hour or more. I have left it for longer with no bad outcomes. Note that the dough looks spongy after resting.

Divide the dough in half. I freeze half for next week's pizza night*. Form the dough into a ball and pat it into a circle on a piece of parchment. Cover with the second piece of parchment and use your rolling pin to roll it out into your preferred pizza shape (we like roughly circular). Keep rolling until you get it as thin as you like.

Since the oven is so hot, I like to trim the extra parchment so that it doesn't scorch in the oven. Consider doing the flipping/peeling technique described above. Brush olive oil on your crust, and when you're ready slide the parchment with the dough on it onto your pizza stone (a rimless cookie sheet works great for this transfer from countertop to oven).

Bake for 8 - 10 minutes. We like a crunchy-bottomed crust, so we generally bake for 10 minutes. Our crust always bubbles a lot, and sometimes tries to curl up. I don't worry about popping the bubbles, as they never get very big.

When pre-baked to your satisfaction, pull out (use the cookie sheet) and decorate.

Here's what we topped ours with this Christmas: tomato sauce (the less salt kind) sprinkled with oregano, salt, and garlic powder. sliced shitake mushrooms, chopped kalamata olives, sliced marinated sundried tomatoes from PCC (so good!), pepperoni (Applegate Farms makes a good one, we cut the rounds into quarters so that it gets crispier in the oven) and a light sprinkling of shredded mozzarella. The baking brings out the sweetness of the sundried tomatoes, so you might want to salt to taste once your pizza is plated. My brother and his wife had the same sauce & herbs, mushrooms, sundried tomatoes, olives, cheese, and some spinach and lettuce from our salad mix (yum!).

Slide the decorated pizza back into the oven. I like to keep it on the cookie sheet now, so that the bottom of the crust doesn't get overcooked or scorched by the pizza stone. Bake until things are bubbly and toasted, or to your preference. We eventually switched to the broiler, which browned up our cheese perfectly!

* We also freeze our extra pepperoni and cheese. Just pull everything out to thaw on the counter (or in the fridge, depending on your climate) around lunchtime of the day you want pizza for dinner. Prepare the pizza as usual.

Please consider spending some time perusing the Gluten Free Girl and The Chef website for recipe ideas. Even though I have more food intolerances than she does, it has been easy to adjust her recipes for my needs - especially since she switched to ratio baking (thanks, Shauna!).

Gluten Free & Dairy Free Orange Cranberry Muffins

Oh, these muffins are delicious! I was concerned at first because even after cooking for a full 35 minutes they were so moist when we cut them in half. They were fully cooked, just super moist. They've been a hit, though, so I've decided that this recipe is a keeper.

Full credit for the initial muffin recipe must go to Shauna at Gluten Free Girl & The Chef. I adapted her GF Whole Grain Muffins recipe. Please visit her website for excellent inspiration.

I wanted to try using almond flour in my flour mix, and these muffins seemed like a good guinea-pig recipe. I adjusted my favorite GF flour mix to incorporate a touch of almond flour.  This not only adds protein and good fats to the muffins, but since the almonds are processed whole we also got more fiber, vitamin E, potassium, magnesium, folate and phytosterols (which help lower cholesterol)***.

Gluten Free & Dairy Free Orange Cranberry Muffins

For The Flour Mix:
100 g Brown Rice Flour
100 g Sorghum Flour
100 g Sweet Rice Flour
50 g Almond Flour
75 g Potato Starch
75 g Tapioca Flour

For The Muffins:
350 g Whole-Grain Flour Mix (See Above)
½ tsp Baking Soda
¼ tsp Baking Powder
180 g Dark Brown Sugar
1 tsp Kosher Salt
300 g Coconut Milk*
100 g sunflower oil** (or gently melted coconut)
2 Eggs
½ tsp Vanilla
1 ½ cups Chopped Fresh Cranberries (About 1 Pint)
1 tsp Orange Zest (About 1 Medium-Sized Orange)

* I use coconut milk because I like it. If you prefer soy, rice, or almond use what you like! Note that each milk substitue will slightly change the results, but if you're baking by ratios

** For our blueberry muffins, I like melted coconut oil the best. It imparts a strong flavor, though, and I feared there would just be too much going on in these muffins if I used it, so I've been using sunflower oil instead because that's what we have on hand.

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 F.  Line muffin tin with parchment cup liners.

Mix together your flour mixture, making sure that it is well-whisked for consistency.

Whisk together dry ingredients, including the sugar.  Add the orange zest.

Whisk together wet ingredients except for the cranberries.  Stir into the dry ingredients until all dry ingredients are incorporated.  Stir in the chopped cranberries.

Using an ice-cream scoop, fill muffin tins about ⅔ full.  Bake for 30 - 35 minutes.  Turn onto wire rack to cool.

Note that the almond flour makes these super moist!  Also, these don't turn golden brown like a wheat-based muffin would, so just assess their doneness based on time, the toothpick method, or by gently patting the middle of a muffin to see if it feels firm (cooked) or fluid (not fully cooked). The latter is my preferred checking-for-doneness technique.

Super Moist = Super Delicious!

These save well and you can even freeze some for later use. We like to split them, butter them, and stick them under the broiler while we cook our eggs. Then we have delicious, buttery, warm & toasty muffins for breakfast!

*** Source:  Linus Pauling Institute at Oregon State University This is an excellent website to bookmark, as it gives great scientific information regarding micronutrients and food sources thereof.  To your health!

Gluten Free Flour Mix Recipe

Since making the switch to GF living, I've been playing with various flour combinations. As a lifelong baker, I was not willingly to give up on baking just because I could no longer use a familiar foundation (wheat flour). Gluten-free baking is different, and as with milk substitutes, one should not expect the results to be "just like" their wheaty/gluteny counterparts

Using a combination of GF flours helps the baker fine-tune the outcome. A little more brown rice flour, for example, will give a particular attribute that is different from that lent by sourghum flour. For a good list of what GF flours offer your baked goods, please refer to this Gluten Free Girl & The Chef post (the post is good, but the info to which I am pointing you is found at its end, so scroll if you must). Incidentally, if you are GF and unfamiliar with the Gluten Free Girl blog/website, please spend some time there. She has been hugely inspirational and an excellent resource for me as I continue to eat well - without the wheat.

Disclaimer: I am allergic to wheat and all of its relatives (spelt, for example) and not necessarily gluten intolerant. That said, most things that are "wheat free" use spelt, so I have found it must easier to just go gluten free. I feel fortunate that I do not have to worry about cross-contamination to the extent that someone living with Celiac's Disease must. I have multiple grain allergies, though, so I definitely still have to ask lots of questions and read labels in order to care for my health.

Okay, back to the flour mix. I've been tinkering with mixes, first using the Gluten Free Girl whole-grain all-purpose GF flour mix.  I followed her ratios, using sorghum flour, potato flour, sweet rice flour, potato starch, arrowroot powder, and tapioca flour (since I can't use cornstarch). For my first batch, I swapped out the cornstarch for more potato starch. The result was pancakes and muffins that had a little more potato taste than we wanted, and in the case of the pancakes, it was as if I'd added instant mashed potatoes to the recipe. Ew.

Back to the drawing board, I decided to minimize and try to replicate our favorite off-the-shelf GF flour mix. We've been really happy with it, so I'll share it with you:

Arya's Current GF Flour Mix:

150 grams brown rice flour

100 grams sorghum flour

100 grams sweet rice flour

75 grams potato starch

75 grams tapioca flour

Mix together well. Note that I have followed Shauna's advice with regards to the ratios. I looked at what the store-bought mix listed in its ingredients, and made mine with 70% grainy flours and 30% starchy flours. It isn't exactly the same, but it's close enough!

I have used this successfully in pancakes, coffee cake, muffins, crackers, and pie crust.  I hope that you like it, too.

 

GF & dairy-free Blueberry Muffins, a new favorite

I was thinking about blueberry muffins this weekend.  Since we no longer eat gluten, we don't have a loaf of bread sitting around just waiting to be made into toast for quick breakfasts.  Gluten-free quickbreads and muffins have really helped as we transition to eating gluten-free and, for me, less grain in general.

Okay, so...blueberry muffins.  I wanted some.  I didn't have a go-to GF recipe, though, and really wasn't in the mood to improvise.  I wanted a recipe that was already tested and that I could put together easily on Sunday morning.

Thankfully, I remembered that Shauna had posted her favorite whole grain GF muffin recipe.  Now that I'm accustomed to baking by weights and ratios (rather than volume), I looked forward to making this recipe work for me*.  Since I don't want to imply that I'm the one who came up with this recipe, I'm just going to tell you the adjustments that I made.  Please click on the link above to see Shauna's recipe, and then make it work for you!

First of all, I modified Shauna's recipe for all-purpose GF flour mix, swapping out the cornstarch for an equal weight of tapioca starch.  For the muffins, I swapped sugar-free coconut milk (I like the So Delicious brand) for the buttermilk, and sunflower oil for the grapeseed (only because I didn't have any coconut oil on hand, otherwise I would have used that - YUM!!!).  I added frozen blueberries until I thought I'd stirred in enough.

I used muffin tin liners, because I really don't like greasing muffin tins OR cleaning them afterward.  I baked according to her instructions.  These muffins were delicious!  The dark brown sugar makes for a really warm sweetness.  The texture was delightful, with the whole-graininess feeling light and tasty, rather than dense like whole wheat baked goods.  They rose into lovely domed muffins, with a slight crunch to the top.  They even held together well over the next two days, which was a nice surprise.

And the best part?  Rob loved them!  I wasn't sure if he would, given that they were so different from what he had been used to me baking.  These are definite keepers.  Try some!

 

*  Since I am allergic to corn, I am careful not to use cornstarch, baking powder that contains cornstarch, or other corn by-products that are included in many store-bought items.  I am also allergic to milk, so I always use a different liquid in my baked goods.

Gluten-free Pumpkin Millet Muffins

One of the benefits of my challenging summer was that during my recovery from surgery I did an elimination diet and discovered that I have a few food allergies.  If you have never had any obvious symptoms of food allergies, you may wonder why I say that finding out about mine was a benefit.  Having cut out the offending foods, I feel more clear-headed, energetic and balanced (moods, particularly) than I have in years.  I sleep better and have lost weight without adding more exercise hours to my already active lifestyle.  My nose isn't stuffy all of the time, nor am I suffering with constipation/hard stools.  With all of these benefits, it hardly feels like I am being denied when I choose to eat "clean".

I have cut out gluten (since anything in the wheat family aggravates my body, and it's easier to just go gluten-free than walk the tight rope of "wheat free"), dairy and corn.  I must limit soy and eggs.  Your eyes may have started spinning at gluten and dairy.  Indeed, many people wonder what on earth I can eat, if those two food groups are out.

Well, how about some GF (and DF) Pumpkin Millet Muffins?

I adapted this recipe from a novel called Bread Alone.  Years ago, when we switched from wheat to spelt, I adapted the recipe accordingly.  Now that spelt is also out, I have adapted it again in order to make the muffins gluten-free.  They were already dairy-free, which is simply convenient.

If you have a good GF mix that you like, then this is a super-simple recipe.  I highly recommend using a kitchen scale to weigh out your flour.  I don't use gums (guar gum or xanthan gum) and have followed Shauna's advice to add a bit of flax meal to the dry ingredients to help with binding.  Flax meal also adds fiber, some protein, and Omega Fatty Acids, so it's a better option all around!

Gluten-free Pumpkin Millet Muffins

8 and 3/8 ounces all-purpose gf flour mix (I like local brand AVEC Baking, but King Arthur also has a good one)

1 tablespoon flax meal

1/4 teaspoon baking powder (I use HAIN brand, which does not include cornstarch)

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons sucanat (or "regular" sugar, if you prefer)

2 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin spice mix*

1/2 cup millet

2 eggs

1/2 cup vegetable oil (I use gently melted coconut oil  YUM!)

1 cup pumpkin puree (that's about 3/4 of a can of pumpkin)

1/3 cup water

2 tablespoons maple syrup (real maple syrup, not "pancake syrup")

 

Pre-heat oven to 375 F.  Put muffin cup liners into a 12-muffin pan.

Mix dry ingredients well.  In a separate bowl whisk wet ingredients until smooth.  If you're using melted coconut oil, mix it with the pumpkin, water, and syrup before adding the eggs so that the heat doesn't start to cook the eggs.

Add wet ingredients to dry and stir.  Since there's no gluten, you don't have to worry about these becoming tough if you overwork it.  That said, you really only need to stir it until everything is incorporated.

Using an ice cream scoop, portion the batter into lined muffin tins.

Bake at 375 F for 25 - 30 minutes.  Makes 12 muffins.

*  Pumpkin Spice Mix:

1/4 cup ground ginger

1/4 cup ground cinnamon

3 tablespoons ground cardamom

3 tablespoons ground cloves

Mix well and store in an air-tight container.

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If you're accustomed to thinking of gluten-free baked goods as being dry, having a weird texture, or tasting oddly of beans (darn those flour mixes that include garbanzo flour!), then prepare to have your mind changed!  Thanks to many great cooks who share their experiences and recipes through blogs and cookbooks, GF baking has come a long way!  As you can see from these photos, this recipe adapted very well to gluten-free cooking.  They rose nicely, have a great crumb, and hold together well.

What are you waiting for?  Go make some muffins!

In Other News - A Recipe

Let's talk about something else.

This, for example:

I'm on Day 11 of a 3-week cleanse.  One of the *many* things that I have to drink everyday is a veg & fruit drink.  My VitaMix makes this a breeze, and also ensures that - unlike with a juicer - I eat all of the fruit/veg fiber in addition to the juices.  I'll tell you more about the cleanse itself later, for today I wanted to focus on the jug of goodness you see above.

The VitaMix came with a book of recipes, and I'm sort of following one for these green-based drinks of mine.  My ND said to drink 16-oz of freshly made juice from veg/fruit such as greens, beets, celery & watermelon.  All of these are particularly helpful to the kidneys and or/liver, which is the whole point of doing a cleanse.

My drink includes tomatoes, pineapple, cucumber, kale, avocado, cilantro, celery, carrot, and lime.  Last week I made it without the tomatoes, and with chard rather than kale.  The VitaMix recipe recommends spinach as the green, but I don't care for the way spinach makes my teeth feel.  (Aside:  Does that happen to you?  Spinach leaves a hard-to-describe weird feeling in my teeth.  Ugh.)

I'm glad that I started following an actual recipe, because for the first couple of days of the cleanse I was blending up watermelon, beets, and greens and it was gross.  I drank it, but it was gross.

I actually look forward to drinking this concoction!  Rob asked for a taste today, and said it "tastes like celery".  He doesn't really care for celery.  I thought that he said it "tastes like sour".  I agreed with him, and told him that I'm experiencing the most amazing feeling regarding this drink; even though my mouth sometimes gets resistant, my body feels so nourished and happy and grateful.  I actually look forward to drinking it each day.

Try it, your body will thank you!

Tasty Green Drink*

1 cup water

2 tomatoes (I have omitted, or swapped for fresh peaches [YUM!!!] or watermelon)

1 lime (peeled & cut in half)

1 cup pineapple chunks

1/4 cucumber (chopped up)

2 cups greens of choice

handful of cilantro (or parsley)

1/4 avocado

2 ribs of celery (cut in half)

2 carrots (cut in half)

1 cup of ice

Put in VitaMix jug in order listed.  Do the usual thing - turn it on, quickly turn it up to high speed, then super-high speed.  Blend for about 45 seconds.  This makes about 40 oz of juice.  I freeze half so that I only have to blend it all up every other day.  If you don't have a VitaMix, please follow the manufacturer's suggestions for your blender.  You might need to cut things into smaller pieces or something.  Enjoy!

* Inspired by the "Refreshingly Green Smoothie" recipe in my VitaMix book.